I could only give in without mediation, so much had the smell of the crash taken hold of me, engulfed my mood, ruled my senses. I detested my inability to resist, yet I was flattered by his blatant and brutal desire to have me totally and immediately. I knew full well that if I had to fall, I might as well do so as disastrously as possible. And so it was. (p. 21)

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Source: Wikiquote: Paolo Crepet, CC BY-SA 4.0